the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
