Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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