Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
someone owes me an orgasm
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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