His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
