Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
