I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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