Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
