she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
