my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
