And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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