what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize