i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
