I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
