shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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