Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize