I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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