Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
