i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
