why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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