the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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