I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
