When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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