I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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