I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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