What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
