allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
