I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
