I just made out with a guy for $7.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
