physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
