He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize