I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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