I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
