She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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