she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
