Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
