I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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