i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
