Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
