Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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