the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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