I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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