Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
