so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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