Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
