I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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