he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize