Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
