Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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