I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Less talking, more tequila
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
