Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
