I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
