Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
