Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
