something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
