I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
