I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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