Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
