I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
